All the tantrums, rants and trying any sort of emotional manipulation I hope will affect a change . . . . God does not move. He is not swayed to change course mid-plan.
However, He will patiently and lovingly wait for the tantrum to cease then quietly ask, "Are you ready to move on now?" No condemnation, no harsh replies, just understanding, compassion and love. (It's hard to fight against someone who will not fight back!!)
It is not easy to have heard God say something, figure you know exactly what He said, but have it take a turn you never expected and have a hard time swallowing. Such is the life I live *sigh*
I am not considered a stupid woman by anyone who knows me, but the fact that I consistently think I have God's plan for me figured out each time something new comes along, well . . . . I think that refutes the opinions of others!
When will I ever, as in EVER, learn I cannot figure God out??
When will I ever, as in DOUBLE EVER, learn He's got a plan for my life and no matter how much I rage against it when it doesn't make any sense to me, or doesn't go the way I hope it will, He will consistently be faithful to that plan, which is to be faithful to me?
When will I ever learn His faithfulness is based on His love?
When will I ever learn I cannot comprehend that kind of love?
And, when will I ever learn to just accept and rest/trust in His love and let that be my anchor in this twisting turning life I really can no longer pretend I understand?
I don't have an answer to the above questions, not even one of them. I'm guessing this is how trust is built.
But this is my problem with trust . . . . it cannot be built through events happening or not happening based upon my own understanding or perception of how it 'should' happen. Trust can only be built when you look not at the circumstances, but at the character of the one who is asking you to trust them.
So, I believe, it is with God. In spite of deep disappointment and frustration with certain circumstances, if we choose to look at His character and not on the circumstance, that makes trusting Him a little more palatable.
I know 2011 was all about finding out I don't, or didn't love others as God would have me love (still learning as I go), but 2012 is ALL about trusting God.
I can say for certain, it's been the rockiest road I've ever traveled and sorry to say, I've not handled it well, which is why it's not over yet. I must confess I'm not sure I want to see what He's going to do in 2013, but that's a future thought so I'm just going to leave it there!
Here is a quote that is a huge challenge for me, but nails the situ perfectly.
"Let me say I believe God will supply all my need and then let me run dry with no outlook and see whether I will go through the trial of faith . . . . or sink back to something lower" Oswald Chambers
Blessings to you as you journey into a deeper faith, trust in God,
Girl on a Journey of deep Trust :-)