When did I stop thinking life was dessert?
When did I stop thinking life was something to take slow, savouring every moment, every bite of time that was mine to savour?
When did I allow the tyranny of the urgent become an emergency?
When did I allow the toxic side-affects of life in this fallen world to poison my outlook of the gift that time in my life is?
When did I stop being nurtured by the things that give life to my soul because of the tyranny of the urgent?
When was the last time I strolled through or sat in the Corby Rose Garden just to be still and smell the roses?
When was the last time I just sat and enjoyed reading a book to my young granddaughter?
When was the last time I sat at the waters' edge and just listened to the music of the waves?
When was the last time I saw something spectacular and rather than take it all in, regretted that I did not have my camera to capture the beauty? And, can a captured moment really reflect the whole of the moment? The sounds, the smells, the atmosphere?
When was the last time I had a conversation with a friend and was truly 'there' in the moment without thought of conjugating French verbs, what I would have for dinner, or allowed the intrusion of my job into my mind as I sat 'listening'? Was I truly listening with my whole heart and attention?
When did I stop being engaged in the lives of the people all around me? Do I smile and say hello when I'm walking along the waterfront trail or keep my eyes and face averted? Do I smile and say hello to people on the street when I walk by? Even if I don't speak, do I look them in the eye and smile? Truly, looking others in the eyes and smiling makes a huge difference (try it and see).
When did I stop seeing all the wonder in my life because I allowed the bad things to push away the awesome?
When did I stop being thankful?
I recently began a journal entry.
I want to reach a thousand things, or more, in my every day life that I am thankful for.
I want to change the DNA of my heart from one of being grumpy because of the acidic influences in life, to one of being thankful in every situation, thankful in all things.
I want to start seeing differently, I want to feel things differently. When things go sour (and they will), I want to be the optimist who, because Christ lives in my heart, can see the good, can be thankful because I know 'all things work together for good' (Rom. 8:28) because God 'has a plan for me' (Jer. 29:11)
When did I stop believing God has a plan for my life and that He is good?
When did all this happen?
Gradually, slowly as life got busier and I spent less and less time on the good things.
When I spent more time looking at the ugliness, it blinded the eyes of my heart, the place where I see good and am grateful for it.
When I allowed the bad things in life to overshadow the good.
When I allowed the tyranny of the urgent to speed up and overtake the slower things in life that bring joy, peace and contentment to my soul.
When I allowed all this and more to be in control, when I lost my focus, when I turned away from the choice to choose and became a tumble-weed being blown about by every wind of turmoil and adversity.
So now I choose. I suspect it will be a journey of ups and downs, but that's what makes life an adventure.
As I choose to give thanks in all things, I know God will give the grace I need to get me through.
When I grumble or complain, that's my pride saying I don't deserve this, I ought to be treated better dammit!! and that's pride with a capital P.
James 4:6 says, "GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE."
So basically when I am proud, I actually prevent God from giving me the grace I need, but when I give thanks for 'all things', and in humility trust Him to work it all out for my good, He gives me grace.
It's a lot to chew on, a lot to digest and it's darn hard to actually do when the flesh is screaming for justice, but I know its truth.
Blessings to you from a fellow . . . . Journey Girl