It's hard to know where to begin, it's been a while since posting and a lot has happened.
The most exciting thing has been moving into my own place. For the past few years I've been asking God for a place of my own that's not a 'box', meaning not the usual square or rectangular apartment. So it's with great excitement I came in early May to see a house on George Street. This house is a big old Victorian which was split into 3 units. It has the things I love; large baseboards, high ceilings, bay window and hardwood floors and to my absolute delight . . . . a rounded wall. No box this place!! I moved in 3 weeks later and am slowly getting it set up!
At the end of this month I'll mark 6 months working for the blind mortgage and real estate broker. It's an understatement to say it's not been easy, but I'm learning lots, both about myself and about living the Christian life. Anyone who says being a Christian is easy, or is a crutch has no idea what being a Christian is about at all. This has been the most challenging thing I've ever lived through. It's true about the 'going around the mountain' analogy. Would that I had learned this when I was younger, I may not have lost my marriage and would not now have to deal with a boss who is about 8 times more difficult than my X-husband!! Those of you who know both men will understand what I'm talking about!! The rest of you . . . . use your imagination :)
The best part about being a Christian is having the God of the Universe, the One who created everything right there beside me, cheering me on, helping me, giving me understanding and showing me the best way to handle things (when I'm willing and ready to listen). He is not a crutch, He is the best Friend a person can have and when everyone else leaves you alone, He is always here! He is the Father we all need but never had, the Big Brother who defends and watches out for me. He's the One who provides all I really need, the best Listener, the gentlest and most compassionate Teacher and the best Lover of my soul I will ever have. He is the truest Soul Mate a girl can have.
I'm going to add a poem at the end of here which I've posted before, but it fits very well the biggest challenge a Christ follower has in living this life.
I continue trying to attend a Wednesday evening study group, but it's hit and miss most of the time. So many things get in the way of going and sometimes I'm just plain exhausted and want my own quiet place at the end of a long day at work. We're studying a book by Larry Crabb and it's been the biggest challenge but the most helpful in regards to living and loving God's way.
So you are now caught up. Not much has been happening in my outer world, but what's happening in my inner life is what really counts anyway as it's the part of me that will last for eternity. Where I live, what I drive, what I wear and have for dinner will pass away into nothingness, but the part of me that's eternal is the part that God is most interested in changing and so I'm content . . . . for the most part. Odd, that being content thing, because at the same time as being content with my outer life, my inner self chafes at the changes God is making, all which are diametrically opposed to what I was raised to, and always believed what being a Christian is all about. Oh well . . . . it's all good!
Read on, this is the poem I mentioned above:
Let others write of battles fought
Of bloody, ghastly fields
Where honor greets the man who wins
And death the man who yields
But I will write of him who fights
And vanquishes his sins
Who struggles on through weary years
Against himself, and wins
He is a hero stanch and brave
Who fights an unseen foe
And puts at last beneath his feet
His passions base and low
Who stands erect in manhood’s might
The bravest man who drew a sword
In foray or in raid
It calls for something more than brawn
Or muscle to o’ercome
An enemy who marcheth not
With banner, plume, or drum
A foe forever lurking nigh
With silent, stealthy tread
Forever near your board by day
At night beside your bed
All honor then, to that brave heart
Though poor or rich he be
Who struggles with his baser part
Who conquers and is free!
He may not wear a hero’s crown
Or fill a hero’s grave
But truth will place his name among
The bravest of the brave.