I was trimming my fingernails this evening and thought 'O how I would love a manicure'.
You know the feeling, the thoughts that go with doing those things we consider as pampering ourselves, right? Tonight I thought of a manicure because I'm tired and didn't want to be bothered! How's that for honesty??
But really, are these things the measure of what makes me feel feminine, what makes me feel special and loved? Is this, even in some small way, how I determine my worth as a female?
I've colored my hair because my natural color feels a bit like February on a cloudy day!! Besides which, grey hair can make some people look old(er).
I used to wear my hair long. Truth be told I've worn it long, short, medium, straight and curly. Just about every hair style going (not a mullet nor spiked) and no matter which style it is, someone loves it, someone doesn't, some think it makes me look classy while others think it makes me look old.
This all reminds me of that old saying, 'You can please some of the people some of the time, but you cannot please all of the people all of the time'. Well who said what I look like has to please anyone but God and me?
I don't wear makeup anymore but I used to. I was told by many I looked younger and prettier with a little makeup. I really cannot be bothered any more.
Whether my hair is grey, long, short, curly or straight. Whether my finger and/or toenails are done here at home or done up by a professional. Whether I wear makeup or leave my face as it was created, it really has no bearing on how I feel about myself, or it shouldn't anyway.
How I look to others doesn't matter so much anymore. I really don't care. I need to feel good about myself on my terms / God's terms. And the older I get, the simpler I want my life to be. I don't want to base my opinion of how I feel about my femininity based upon such superficial things as makeup, hair color and such things.
Romans 12:2: "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind . . . . "
The Greek meaning of the word conform: to conform one's self (i.e. one's mind and character) to anothers pattern, (fashion one's self according to)
So, as I see it, decorating myself to feel feminine and good about me, is conforming and is the wrong way to go about feeling good about me. Where did I get the idea from anyway? I don't think from God's word, I think from living in the world, I think the world has influenced me rather than the other way around. And, up till now I had no idea just how entrenched the worlds standards for beauty has influenced me. Kinda makes me sad. In 1 Cor. 10:5 we are told to "take every thought captive", stack up what we hear in this world against the truth of God's word. This applies to everything we hear, but also for the world view of what feminine beauty is and what it looks like.
1 Cor. 6:12 says: All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.
This tells me these things are not evil in and of themselves, it's ok to have a manicure etc., but does it profit my soul, does it profit the parts of me that will spend eternity with God? What profit will come from decorating a body that will spend time in the ground, then be changed? Maybe I would have more 'profits' if I didn't spend what little cash I have on those things . . . . just sayin :)
I could go on, but you get it I'm sure. I need you to know I don't write this as a judgment or criticism on anyone who does any of the above. This is my personal journey which I'm sharing with you, this is what God is saying to me.
Rom 14:22 says: The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves.
I want to feel good about me in the way God knows is profitable to me, on the inside, knowing I live a life that is pleasing to Him. From what I understand, it's all about balance in our beliefs about such things, not rigid legalism but coming out of our very personal relationship with God.
Bottom line is this: My outer looks change all the time. I want to be beautiful in character, that part of me that counts. The rest is going 6 feet under!!
Blessings, be at peace with your own conviction before God. I am becoming more so every day.