"Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds . . ." Wm Shakespeare

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

I've tried, I really have . . . .

For the past few days I've tried writing what God is doing in my life via THE book, 66 Love Letters by Larry Crabb, but I'm getting caught at trying to write of something so big, so life-changing that I'm barely catching a glimpse of it myself. So, since writing about it is proving illusive, I will keep writing about it in my journal for now and wait for a better time.

This book has, as said before, turned my whole spiritual world upside down, but I've found a certain peace in this process. At the beginning it made me angry, it confused me and I wanted to quit the whole thing, in a word Christianity sucks big time. Nothing I see today is in the Bible, I'm not living the "abundant life" and I don't see too many of my fellow Christians living an abundant life either. Rather I see many living lives of self-protection, self-fulfillment, or self-satisfying. I see so many living with this fear or that fear and no one is really very happy or filled with that joy we should have.

But, there was this growing sense of hope deep inside which kept me going in the book. Regardless of how I felt at the end of each chapter, I felt compelled to read the next, then the next and so on, till here I am now, reading in the new testament and oh, what I've learned! I get it now why we're not living that abundant life, we're doing it or living it on our terms, or living as the 'world' lives life. We are not living God's way at all, no wonder it doesn't satisfy!

Now being a Christ follower is an amazing adventure. I probably don't need to find those oh so important adventures for my life as in past days, living right here, going to work every day, doing the hum/drum of everyday life has become an adventure because I see things more God's way than my own way, and that of the world in general.

The changes of the past few months are amazing and I can finally see my purpose here on earth and THAT is worth the struggle I've gone through.

I understand a lot more of what Jesus meant with His parables. I understand what the apostle Paul was talking about . . . . simply put ~ I GET IT.

If God were not the kindest Person I ever knew, I would imagine Him saying, "Finally!!!" But that's not His way. What He is most likely saying is, "That's My Girl, you didn't quit, you persevered till you got it. I'm so proud of you". Well, that's my interpretation of, "well done My good and faithful Son".

Anyway, when I can write with more clarity than present thoughts permit, I will write of what is happening right now. Suffice it to say it's amazing, I'm amazed. I'm also scared and excited all at the same time, but it's good!

I hope you pursue God with all you have. Like I said, it's not easy but it's worth the struggle.

Blessings to each of you on your own Journey with God.
Girl on a Journey

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