"Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds . . ." Wm Shakespeare

Monday, December 27, 2010

Anticipation and Disappointment

Well, here I am contemplating the deep things of life again.

Today I am anticipating eating Duck for my main meal. I've not had Duck since the mid-1970's when it was more affordable than Turkey. Each year I gaze longingly in the freezer bunkers at the grocery stores but turn away when I see the inflated price stickers.

This year, to my absolute delight, I found a price sticker which is totally affordable and I bought it. It's thawing in a sink of cold water as I type this out.

However, I find myself wondering if the actual eating of it will meet the expectation I have for how good it will be, how it will satisfy the longing of years gone past. Or . . . . has the memory increased the anticipation that is unrealistic in proportion to what it will really taste like?

I think this is like life. We dream of events we hope will come to pass, yet find ourselves so often disappointed as time after time things unfold differently than anticipated. More often than not, they are so much 'less than' we hoped for.

I'm beginning to believe this is because we look for deep satisfaction from the surface things of life. We don't look in the right places for our hearts desires to be met.

Such depth of desires can only be met at depth, depth which only God can fill and satisfy. When we look to other people, when we look for possessions, when we look for financial security or when we look anywhere else but to the God who created us to meet those needs, we will be disappointed.

I find this to be such a challenge: how do I see things differently than what is the norm of this life? How do I change my thinking to reflect the truths I'm discovering when what is preached or taught or thought is so self-focused? How is it possible to see things God's way rather than the way of the world when so little is taught that is God's way.

My beliefs and ways of thinking are being so radically challenged and I hope God, through Holy Spirit helps me figure it out because certainly there has been nothing that has met the needs that are way down deep within me. Of all the good and most wonderful things I've experienced, not one has answered that need for "something more". I must then conclude there is nothing on this earth; not wealth, not possessions, and not great and wonderful love apart from God, will ever meet this need, thus I find myself wait on and looking to God to bring that depth of fulfillment and satisfaction. Just what that looks like, I have no idea.

My journey now takes a turn onto the path less trod, it goes off the main highway to a small dirt path winding up and up and up, away from the frenetic path I have thought as the right road. My journey now takes the path of adventure of finding God's way in each step of the trip. Having once thought I was following God and finding out I really was not, this is basically a trip into the great unknown . . . .

God's blessings for you as you find His path for your life.

Girl on a Journey

No comments:

Post a Comment