"Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds . . ." Wm Shakespeare

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Coming Home

It's said that you can never go back home again, well I'm here to say, yes you can.

After being away for 5 years, I moved back to my home town. I was pretty sure I didn't want to move back here, in fact I was dreading it. So being the pro-active gal that I am, I asked Abba, "Please give me something to love about this town ok, otherwise I'm not going to make it here."

I can tell you within one week, I was finding things I 'loved' about this place and a short time later found myself feeling quite happy and content and yes, even grateful for being back here. WOW, count me surprised!!

Another thing I discovered which was a surprise to me was that I belonged here. I don't have my own place, I'm living in a room at my sis and bro-in-laws, I have only a part time job, my stuff is in storage and I'm trying to figure out my life. But the reason I feel I belong is, even though I don't have a place to call my own and don't 'belong' to any work group or church or a home I belong in, I have a place in the hearts of my family and friends. They have made room for me and I can tell they truly do enjoy having me back, not just in the town, but back in their lives.

Basically, the reason I belong is because I belong in the heart of those who love me.

So yes, you can go back home again and perhaps find it a richer environment than when you left in the first place.

Blessings to you as you find that place where you belong, whether in hearts or an actual place.
Journey Girl

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Loving God Unconditionally II

I was recently, actually this morning, reading a blog of another 'blogger' and found this poem. It's copyrighted and used with permission so I cannot re-write it here for you, but I'll post the link where I found it for you below . . . . anyway . . . .

It is exactly what I was trying to convey in my blog about loving God unconditionally in the good times and bad.

Not paying lip service, saying 'of course I love God' in a heads-only kind of assent, but when things are harder than we believe we can handle, knowing God can get us out of it but, for divine reasons He alone knows, He chooses not to ~ well, can we look Him in the face and love Him anyway when He withholds that from us?

She talks of sulking and ignoring Him, trying to freeze Him out , trying to manipulate Him into giving us our own way, yet still He loves us.

Here, I'll just let you read her poem and please do follow the link to her webpage and read more if you care to . . . .

I think I have a lot to learn about loving unconditionally.

Continuing my Journey of life . . . . Journey Girl

Go to: http://www.lifestream.org/ follow down to Wayne's Blog
Look through the August archives to: Words of Life from a World of Pain
Scroll down to her poem called "Held" this is the poem to which I refer to above.

If you like, go on . . . read through all of the things she writes, I bet you are challenged =)
See blog on Journey through Poetry on God knows my Need as it speaks to trusting God and believing he knows what is best. To me this is more on the theme of unconditionally loving God and being loved by God, a challenge to be sure.
blessings . . . . Journey Girl

Thursday, August 12, 2010

My First BIG Trip

Big as in overseas, long flight and living out of a suitcase!! Does any of that bother me? Not in the least, it's all an adventure to be experienced.

I'm hoping this is the first of many overseas trips, the catalyst that shoots me off to ports as yet unknown.

I'm travelling with my Mom and we're heading to Switzerland. We have our passports and tickets in hand and are now beginning to assemble all the things we need to take.

One thing I'm looking to purchase for this trip is a backpack, one that holds both laptop and camera et al. It's going to be quite an expense, but well worth it when you consider how much I can fit in there and it won't be a heavy weight on one shoulder. They are suited for such a trip as this and everything I have to take on-board will fit in this one bag. I've done a bit of searching and I'm impressed with the quality of the packs thus far but there is one more shop I want to check out, then I'm going to make my choice, never easy when spending this kind of money, and get it packed . . . . that is when I think I'll really become excited!

Another purchase I've made is an e-reader, a Kindle by Amazon. These are amazing little pieces of technology. Now, I may not understand how all this technology works, but I understand I love it and know how to use it!

It is so compact it will easily fit into my backpack and I can take along several books on this lightweight reader as opposed to trying to fit in enough books for the whole trip.

OK, you are wondering 'what the heck is she taking books on a trip to Switzerland for???' right? Well, this is not the kind of trip where I want to pack into every day as much sight-seeing as possible, tripping here and there all over the country. Although there are certain things I want to see, it's more a trip where I want to 'experience' life in Switzerland. I don't really care to visit the chocolate factory, but want to wander around the city centres, shooting the buildings and people as they walk to and fro.

But, back to the book thing, there are going to be times when my head is just too full of everything I've seen, heard and experienced and I know I'm going to want some down-time to just veg. That's when sitting on a mountainside with a cool drink or hot cup of tea, maybe even a glass of wine, and reading comes into play. There will be many times I will just shoot the scene and sit quietly, pondering the amazing fact I am actually sitting on the side of a Swiss mountain!

The Chalet above? That's the side of the mountain I'll be sitting on as we are planning to spend a few days there.

So those are my thoughts about the trip I'm taking. I have a few business details that need to be looked after before the trip, but as soon as they are dealt with, my only business will be getting ready to go.

Another journey, another adventure for this Journey Girl. I can't wait!!
Blessings . . . .

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Clean or Blurry Lines

I recently tried to shoot the Canada Day fireworks from the balcony of the 9th floor apartment where I'm hanging my hat these days.

It was a bit frustrating in that I didn't really know how to set my camera to shoot as quickly as needed to capture the fast pace of the light show, but I did it anyway.

What I ended up with was better than I expected and more than I hoped . . . . cool!

Here's what I was thinking about when I looked at the end result ~ beauty can come in the form of imperfections, failures and blurred lines!

So much of my life has been a struggle to do things 'just right'. It's how I was programmed as a child, do it right or else! I learned the lesson very well, too well it turns out as it has hemmed me in and kept me from enjoying a good many experiences. Always trying to please others, do it 'right' from their perspective.
Well, when was it ever going to be right from my perspective?? When was it going to be ok for me to do it 'my way'?
I saw things as either well done and worthy of praise or as a mistake I should be ashamed of.
This lesson was reinforced during my marriage and it's taken me many years to slough off the lie and embrace the truth that everything creative, whether colored perfectly within the lines or blurring beyond, has a beauty of its' own.

I'm learning even mistakes and failures can still have a sense of rightness when looked beyond what it was 'supposed' to be to what 'is'.
I'm learning life has to work for me too, not just everyone else BUT me.

Life is not about doing everything perfectly. Life is about experiences which include good and not-so-good experiences, it is even about making mistakes ~ mis-takes ~ and failing to do what I wanted. Life is taking everything at face value and accepting the value of each attempt to explore and experience it.

I've come to the conclusion it's impossible to experience life perfectly, cleanly and within the boundaries of perfection as others dictate it 'should' be, coloring in the lines drawn by others.

I'm done with 'should' cuz if it 'should be' then it would be, that's backward thinking and I'm into forward thinking.

I'm done with rehashing and second guessing how I should have done or said something that would make it better. Would I do things differently if I knew how it would turn out?? Possibly! But the thing is, I did not have this knowledge back when I made the decision, so it wasn't possible to do it 'then' as how I would do it 'now'.

Each experience is a learning experience. Sometimes I learn how I would do something differently or that I did it just as I wanted to. But, whether it turned out differently or not as good as I hoped, it does not negate the experience or the creativity of it all.

One other thing I have learned is to be gentle with myself. I have no manual to show me how to live my life, so I choose to go to the One who gave me my life, follow the directions He gives.

Those times I don't follow the Manual and screw up, well it's not for nought either. I've learned a great many things from my mis-takes in life. Mostly I've learned it's ok, I'm ok and it's all good.

There is a time and place for coloring within the lines, but right now I'm daring to see what I can create while coloring randomly all over my page of life.

Blessings on your own Journey of life . . . . Journey Girl

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Loving God Unconditionally

We know we are to love one another unconditionally, after all this is how God loves us, right?

This to me, is a very multi-dimensional task, yes task because honestly it takes work, and for me it's the biggest challenge of my life ~ most days!

It means loving others when they are not behaving in a very lovable way.

It means loving others when they are spiteful and mean.

It means loving others when they ignore me.

It means loving others when I disaprove of their lifestyle and decisions.

It means accepting others just as they are; regardless of my opinion!

When they frustrate me, make me angry and just generally piss me off! Still I'm to love them, accept them and treat them as if they never did anything to make me want to NOT love them.

But, here is one thing I've never thought of, till this morning ~ do I love GOD unconditionally?

I love God, no question about that; it's the 'unconditional' bit that has caught me off guard!

Do I love Him when I know He could change my circumstances and doesn't?

Do I love Him when things don't go well for me or others I love?

Do I love Him when I'm in pain and don't understand why He doesn't answer prayer to take it away?

Do I love Him when I don't hear from Him right away?

What does it look like to me, to not love Him (or others) unconditionally?
I ask myself these questions:

Do I distance myself, cold-shoulder Him? Do I ignore our relationship and spend more time with others or by doing any other thing rather than talk it out with Him? Do I figure He's too high maintenance ( you define what this means to you :) ) and walk away altogether?

Isn't that what I'm tempted to do with people when I am angry with them or they have hurt me?
Just how unconditional is my love anyway??

If you've been following my posts, this would seem to be the million-dollar question that's been plaguing my thoughts these days . . . . *sigh*

The challenge in loving unconditionally just went from huge; in loving people, to monumental; in loving the God of the Universe ~ unconditionally.

Blessings to you on your Journey of loving others unconditionally . . . . Journey Girl

Sunday, August 1, 2010

A Parting of the Ways

Ya, it's almost time. I can see the signs this relationship is coming to an end!

It's a death for me, but I cannot mourn because it was such a wonderful relationship of provision. But it's time to anticipate the joys of moving on, knowing this relationship has served me well and a new one is waiting to continue this journey I have taken for the past 12 years, with the last one.

For those of you who know me, I've been having a 12-year love affair with my Honda. I got the sad news last week that I will get the winter out of this wonderful car but then must bid adieu and continue my journey of life with another vehicle. She was the 4th Honda I've had, need I say more? There is a good reason why Honda owners are so loyal!

On my way home today I passed a Dodge Journey and it got me thinking ~ what kind of vehicle will I be driving to continue the next leg of life with me?

I always thought I would be a Honda owner the rest of my life and have wanted a Honda CRV for forever, but it's been brought to my attention there are many other makes and models that would serve my needs just as well and are as good as Hondas!

THAT was not easy to say :) It all started one day in 1998, I was driving the 401 with my daughter and told her it was time to buy a different car.

I told her I was hoping to find a Honda Accord sedan as I needed the 4 doors and the trunk. A/C would be nice, but not a necessity, love a 5 speed tranny and had to have Cruise Control.

Those were my hopes and as you can see, I got exactly what I was hoping for, including the A/C!! What I could not have foreseen was the 45 km/g, the very low cost of maintenance and how utterly faithful this car has been!

I know this car was provided for by God, so here I am once again, saying what I'm hoping for this time and as before, waiting to see just which vehicle I'll end up with. I figure, if He gave me such a great car the last time, He is just as able to provide another 'best-for-me' vehicle again.

I've been wanting an SUV-type vehicle for the past 5 or more years, dreaming of the day when I would actually get one. I like being higher up and know I now prefer the open space in the back over a truck I have to bend into, it's just easier as I grow older ( did I say that with my outside voice??? :0 ).

As for makes and models, I've been looking at the KIA as a serious contender and I am seriously impressed with what I see!

It's really quite exciting for me, after 12 years, I'm getting a new vehicle.

The one thing I'm hoping though, is this new one is not brought about in the same manner as the last one was!!

Blessings to you ~ Girl on another new Journey