It’s been a very long and trying year for me. Aside from writing in my journal, I have written nothing and as you can see, there have been no blogs for quite some time. It seems when I am too busy trying to live and unable to stop and think, nothing creative flows. I’m hopeful that in recovery from the latest MVA I will find my creative self back in form, or better than it’s ever been!
I’ve recently been reminded of Miranda Lambert’s song The House that Built Me and it has been an important song for me since I first heard it. The one line that speaks the loudest is > “I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am”. Well in this past year, I got lost in the darkness of this old world of pain, insurance policies and legal processes, and forgot who I am!
Since the MVA, and being abruptly tossed into retirement, I got lost. I lost my identity and couldn’t figure out who I now am. Nothing was as I hoped or planned for my retirement and I fumbled around for this whole past year.
But, I was measuring my identity from a world perspective, the wrong perspective and I needed a reminder of Who my Father is and to Whom I belong.
I’ve recently been reminded that as a Christ follower, our identity isn’t how we normally think it is.
When someone asks ‘what do you do?’, the answer is along the lines of, “I’m a Mother, an Accountant, Nurse, Cabby, or as I’ve called myself, a PSW”, you name it, that’s how we identify ourselves, beginning with the words, “I AM a . . . . “.
As a Christ follower, it misleads us into forgetting the truth that we are first and most importantly, a son or daughter of God. That is the identity we need to know ourselves as.
Nothing less and nothing more.
Some of you may say I’m splitting hairs, or it’s mere semantics, but I ‘worked’ as a PSW, that’s not who I am. The distinction between the two may be a fine line but we have to be careful to choose our words wisely. It does make a difference, at least it did to me.
My identity hasn’t changed one whit! I still am a daughter of God and that will never change. What I ‘do’ does not affect who I am, it’s just what I do. And thankfully, though I didn't know where I was and felt so lost, I was never lost to God!
So this Journey Girl is on a brand new journey. I have no idea where it will lead to. Well, ultimately I do, but for now, there are no expectations other than putting one foot in front of me, taking one breath at a time, and looking with eyes and heart open to see how each day will unfold into a future I can’t yet see but is surely there. I still may flounder, but I won't get so lost in this world as I have been.
God bless you on your own journey. It’s my prayer you don’t get lost in this old world and forget who you are and that you can dodge the boulders, scale the mountains and find your path amongst the rubble!